When I meet new people and they ask me about what I do, I tell them.
Honestly, I used to be hesitant or vague about what I do; to down play it as to not go into a deeper conversation.
- CHECK THIS OUT -
My story was… “I don’t want to make someone else uncomfortable by speaking about yoga, meditation, and self development in general.”
Translation… I don’t want to make ME uncomfortable speaking about…
Can you relate?
It’s true how when we put the responsibility of an experience out on someone else, it falls squarely back on ourself, because it was an inner experience from the beginning. It had nothing to do with the outside party, never did, never will. It’s always about us, not them. When we project or assume what another might think of us, we lose our sense of self, sense of power and ownership. Our birthright.
There are many perspectives on why or how one might tend to project outward, my simple answer is that we’ve been taught to in our culture. Ultimately I believe it comes down to self acceptance vs. self judgement. Judgment based on external comparison requires an assumption that all information is known, impossible when taking into account another individual. The mind, which is useful for making decisions on how we move through life, will make the judgment. If the mind has been conditioned in a climate of judgement (think household, work place, media, etc.), then the ego component, our sense of self, will project that outwardly. Blame, victimhood, self comparison, not good enough — All of the above.
Returning to a situation where I’d hesitate to tell someone what I do… it would be due a projection onto them where I (sense of self, ego) assume how they might judge me - so if we just take out the middle men, hesitation was me judging me.
It has taken me a long time and an earnest dedication to learning about myself, studying both eastern and western schools of thought (on thought) to develop this understanding.
The understanding itself is only the beginning, and perhaps unnecessary if you want to experience more freedom in your life and interactions as I have discovered for myself. The word “freedom” is a very accurate description for me. I feel more free when I am able to be open with someone, unassuming about their response, because my “I am good enough” aspect of self has been largely reintegrated and resides within.
Experience of feeling that “I am not enough” is a common one, especially in western culture. So many of us go through this - It has become incredibly evident in my work with those aspiring to understand more about themself and grow spiritually. One could be perceived as sad news, however I sincerely believe and trust that it offers a profound and exciting opportunity to come alive in every sense of the word. That has been my journey and I believe it is available to all.
The case for understanding is strong for me because I am wired introspectively and seek to know WHY. I recognize that it might be different for others though. Differences aside, the case for going on the journey of discovering and restoring personal freedom is far more compelling and requires spiritual work. That is - train and develop an awareness of self - a sure start to unravel an ego that looks outward for “good enough”. For true and lasting freedom, contentment, and enjoyment of life - we must receive our sense of being enough from our self - not others.
Awareness
Awareness is a mental muscle that, like any other, needs to be continually trained to grow and remain strong. In this day and age of society, where we are bombarded for our attention from all directions, awareness is our secret weapon to a wonderful life.
How? How to train and cultivate awareness? And then what? We’ll get there :)
My past discomfort and fear of sharing about my lifestyle and brand was shattered by my developing awareness - in other words, I become present to the experience of a conditioned dynamic - hiding, feeling small, and similar words describe the way I felt when approached with the question “what do you do?” By a distant friend, family member, or stranger.
With awareness comes a practice
I cultivated an awareness of my inner experience, and wanted a different outcome for myself. Awareness IS ALWAYS THE FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT - for growth, healing - whatever you want to call it. Awareness initiates a space for change. What happens next becomes “the practice” - with awareness comes the ability and subsequent responsibility of choosing how I would rather show up to the moment.
I sincerely hope you understand that this right here.. What you just read - about our ability and responsibility of choosing what’s next - YES THAT… THAT IS A SUPERPOWER and it means freedom!
I would not be where I am with my practice. Here’s a story about what that looked like for me.
Family is the ultimate test
I’m from the south (USA) and with any culture comes assumptions about what people believe. My dad was taking me to a family reunion and I had assumptions - namely no one seeks spirituality, only Jesus and if your not in the Jesus club, you’re on the outside looking in. That is a reality for many people in the south. A reality is only as real as our perception, and perception is unconsciously conditioned by culture.
Awareness and consciousness go hand in hand. I’d say that awareness is an agent of consciousness. So I had, for some years up to this point, been practicing awareness and becoming more conscious of my self and others. So when tasked with my projections of what the family reunion might be like for me - I was able to already step in to the awkwardness I might feel when telling southern Christian family that I teach yoga and meditation, I train others to cultivate and share their practice of self awareness.
Thankfully (for the sake of my own life) I am not only a teacher of awareness but also a dedicated student! Because of my awareness - I recognized that awkwardness was mine, not theirs. I decided that instead of meekly saying “yoga teacher” to the inevitable questions about my life, I’d describe at a relatable level, what I do. Not just that, I also wanted to be totally comfortable doing it. Owning it. Because it’s what I do! What I chose consciously to do, and I love it! And I love me! So where’s that awkwardness and fear now? Gone!
What happened? Well turns out I’ve got a cousin (not present at the reunion) who’s a yoga teacher, and everyone else is sore from their lifestyle and overall very curious about how they can feel better. Typically the first thing someone thinks about yoga is that it’s only stretching, (and none of this deep, meaningful work) which is a preconception that I love to wake people up to. I enjoyed a great conversation and deeper connection with my relatives! Connection comes when we let others in.
That experience at the reunion - sharing with people (family no less) from a place of freedom and self ownership - was AWESOME. It felt so good and served to highlight what’s possible when using an awareness practice to show up consciously and create whole a new experience.
Ways to practice and develop awareness. Keys to an amazing life!
Meditation practice is an incredibly powerful way to develop awareness - there are many ways to work with meditation and in terms of awareness the most impactful ways are to observe in the present moments - thoughts, sensations, impulses, emotions - and alternatively maintain a point of focus: like focus on the breath or sensation.
Those techniques (tried and true for thousands of years) work wonders - literally wonders - for me (and honestly anyone I know who has practiced consistently) and there are many other mindfulness techniques that build awareness..
Try my 30 day meditation program to begin a practice, and gain amazing results in 30 days. It is GREAT for starting a meditation practice and developing a discipline for consistency, which is essential to being able to see your own progress and stay inspired to grow in all ways of living.
Awareness is the first component. What happens next is the application of “knowing one’s self” i.e. your practice. For this you need to step into life. Much like I did in the family reunion - I tried something new and observed what happened. It is the activation of consciousness. A guide, a teacher, coach, mentor - they all will help you with what’s next, and you will learn to trust yourself with this process. Someone who has walked the path and speaks from experience will influence you far more deeply than learning from a book. Books are great for understanding concepts; a dialogue is VITAL to develop your practice.
I love supporting people in this way - when we grow more conscious, we love and accept more - there is more peace and harmony - we treat ourselves and others with respect - we respect and honor Mother Nature - we begin to have a broader sense of interconnectedness and that we are all in this together. It is the only way I desire to live my life.
If you want to start a dialogue and receive guidance with meditation or even how to apply awareness to a situation in your life that you’d like to change, schedule a call with me! And a step further would be to commit to yourself for your life. Developing consciousness and awareness is absolutely an on going process. It is more beautiful than I ever cold have imagined before and to say worthwhile is an understatement.
Schedule a call and learn more about coaching with Jefe :)